Women of Excellence

2 Bad Reasons to Wear a Purity Ring and the One Reason I Wear a Purity Ring

Several years ago, as I led a game for the four and five-year-olds, a little boy asked me at VBS, “What’s that ring on your finger?”

“It’s my purity ring,” I replied. 

The little boy shook his head.  “That means you’re married!” 

I laughed and told him I was sixteen and too young to be married, but he was convinced that the ring meant I was married and wouldn’t be persuaded otherwise.  I laughed and continued with the game. 

When I turned fifteen, my dad took me to the jewelry store to pick out a beautiful ring, and since then, I have worn that ring every day as a reminder of my commitment to purity.  Recently, there has been some tension surrounding the idea of purity.  Our culture does not value purity commitments, and the church has not done it’s best to combat the culture’s lies with God’s truth. 

(Just as a side note, purity rings are not in the Bible and are not required to make a commitment to purity. If you have a purity ring or are thinking about getting one, this article is for you. And if you aren’t interested in a purity ring, this article is still for you, because the principles apply whether you wear a purity ring or not.) 🙂

Today, I’d like to share two bad motivations to wear a purity ring.  With these two bad motivations, purity rings become meaningless.  

1: Wearing a purity ring to get extra points from God.  Wearing a purity ring does not make you pure.  It also does not make you more “righteous” in God’s eyes.  Our righteousness and our purity cannot be found within ourselves.  We are all born into sin, which means we’re all born into impurity. 

For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.  Isaiah 64:6

Wearing a purity ring does not take away the impurity within us.  Only Christ in us can make us pure. 

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21

and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, Philippians 3:9

And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. 1 John 3:3

A purity ring does not make you pure, just like a wedding ring does not make you married.  A purity ring is simply a symbol of a commitment.  Purity rings are not necessary for making a commitment to purity, and all Christians are called to live in purity. 

Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

Walking in sanctification and purity is a witness to this world that Christ has changed us, and we carry out this calling only through His Spirit working in us. 

So, wearing a purity ring to “be pure” is a bad motivation for wearing a purity ring.  There’s one more bad reason someone might wear a purity ring, and this might surprise you. 

2: Wearing a purity ring for your future husband.  This is a statement I hear a lot from girls who wear purity rings: “My purity ring is a symbol of my commitment to be pure for my future husband.”  That sounds amazing, but it is a bad reason to wear a purity ring.  I realized it was a bad reason to wear a purity ring before I even got a purity ring.  I wrestled with this thought as a fourteen-year-old, knowing that my dad would get me a purity ring when I was fifteen: but what if I don’t get married?  What would be the point of the purity ring?  And that question is exactly why this is a bad motivation to wear a purity ring.  Even though statistically you are more likely to get married than to remain single, we are not guaranteed marriage.  God does not promise marriage for every believer.  In fact, Paul thought singleness was better than marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7).  If we make a commitment to purity for our future husbands or in hopes that God will have to bring us a husband because we have made this purity commitment, we are setting ourselves up for failure.  I believe this is the wrong commitment many single people made who are today claiming that the choosing purity ruined their lives.  They believed they were staying pure for a future spouse, and when that spouse never came, their commitment felt worthless. 

So, if wearing a purity ring as a symbol of your commitment to your future husband is a bad motivation, why do I wear a purity ring?

The right reason for a purity commitment, and the reason I wear a purity ring is this: I wear my purity ring as a symbol of my commitment to God for purity. 

Just like wearing a ring does not make you married, a purity ring does not make me pure.  And just like a wedding ring is a symbol of a couple’s wedding vows, my purity ring is a symbol of my commitment to purity.  My commitment to purity is not for my future husband, but rather out of obedience to God.  I may never get married, but that does not change God’s call for me to be pure.  Purity is a lifestyle of sanctification, as we saw in 1 Thessalonians 4, and every believer is called to this lifestyle, whether single, dating, or married.  We are all called to honor God with our entire being – mind, body, words, actions, thoughts, emotions, etc. 

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Through our conduct, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we are witnesses to the world around us that Jesus can transform lives. 

Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;  Philippians 1:27

Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation. 1 Peter 2:12

With love,

Kelsey